Wednesday, August 24, 2005

THE WAY TO GO

I recently attended the wife's distant relatives funeral. It was an elegant affair; the casket lay in state, surrounded by a four poster canopy, draped with white satiny material (the canopy, not the casket), and there was a sense of calm and peace presiding over the whole event. The first thing that struck me when we arrived, and I don't mean to sound frivolous, were the "party packs". They constituted a fan, (those made from balsawood), and a white towel, wrapped around the fan. How practical, I thought, a fan to fan yourself, and a towel to wipe the sweat. Hmm, while I saw many using the fan, I didn't see anyone using the towel to wipe their sweat. It was interesting to see people shifting their seats to ensure they remain in the shadows, as to avoid the sun.

While not really at THAT age when one thinks about such things, I have this elaborate plan oridi for when I go. It has to be an elegant affair too. None of that tok tok chiang stuff, needless to say, with nuns in saffron robes chanting a language that 99% do not understand. Almost as bad as a latin mass. Oh, of course no tok tok chiang lah, afterall, I am Christian. Protestant.

So, should be something like this. During the wakes, there must be red wine, with little halal dim sums, as snacks. There should be nice music in the background, and for the first night's memorial, it should be very short, just a few hymns, and a few sweet words. Oh, maybe a short sermon for the captive audience. Am I being morbid?

The funeral itself should be a happy affair. Well, happy may not be the word lah, err.. joyous? None of the usual funeral songs, like What a Friend We Have in Jesus, or Amazing Grace, or that other famous one...On the sweet, by and by??? Something like that. BUT, I would want my favourite, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL, preferably in a four part arrangement, ie, tenor, alto, soprano and bass. My evil twin, if he outlives me, can be responsible for this. I would get him to do the eulogy, but he mumbles too much. And when my peers are in their 70s, they shouldn't have to strain their ears to figure out if he said, "He had a good heart" or "He had a good fart". Eulogies have to be delivered with eloquence, and a bit of emotion, I guess. See lah, probably one of the kids will have to do it, IF they are not too distraught. Or by then, maybe a grandkid can do it. If wife outlives me, then she can play a piano solo. "A WHITER SHADE OF PALE"? or she can play our song, "WHEN I FALL IN LOVE". but that'll send her to pieces. (and it aint music pieces).

M&M, if you are still around, you can worship lead lar hor. Sermon....well, by that time, most of the current speakers we know today should already be in heaven, so we'll leave that instruction for nearer the time, but if he's alive, it'll have to be the reverend marvin wong.

Am I being terribly morbid here? Okay what, as Christians we aren't pantang about death.

3 comments:

shades said...

I want to have a dress code for those attending my wake/funeral... must come in red!

fatboybakes said...

you know, that thought crossed my mind too, but i was just going to say bright colors. a bit hard to get that message across though, where would you put it? in the obituary? DRESS CODE: RED? DRESS CODE: BRIGHT COLORS PLEASE.

Chipmunkrock said...

actually i'd like to have a celebration too when i go...coz i'd be finally HOME.